Early Dreams

Essentially I had been planning my wedding my entire life. I think I had my first crush when I was 3 years old...or so I have been told and teased about. It never slowed down, I always had some kind of crush on someone, boy crazy I suppose. I fantasized about my wedding from the moment I can remember fantasizing. It ranged from some sort of gaudy affair to a beach wedding to eloping. Purple and green colors, to lace and bows. It was the early 90s, I am glad my wedding happened in a time when I was able to pick classic themes that I will look back on and feel proud rather than embarrassed. I always knew I would get married one day and it would be fabulous. I just needed the love of my life. 

My first real adult boyfriend was when I was 19, almost 20. Looking back now I definitely am glad things didn't work out. That was so young. Getting married before you can legally buy alcohol? Just plain silly. During my first relationship of course I thought about the inevitable wedding that would occur. I was just sure of it. 

Well, it didn't and I moved on. 

I liked guys here and there but nothing ever panned out. Slowly my friends and cousins started to pair of and get married. I went to wedding after wedding, bridesmaids dresses, gifts and flowers. I loved them all and had lots of fun, but was ready for my turn. 

It would be several years...

After those years, I met a tall skinny funny guy which was actually just my type. After the typical awkward flirtations and such, we were officially together. 

After a few months and the conversations we had, it was pretty apparent a wedding was in the future. I just couldn't see it ending any other way.

9 months later...it did. 

Shocked and devastated I stumbled into a depressed oblivion and rebound relationship. A couple months later, another relationship over, my mother put me on a 6 month dating restriction. No dating for 6 months. 

Now normally I guess for some people that wouldn't have been too difficult. 

But my-now-husband had been hanging around a lot with my family. We had known each other for a long time. I had never looked at him in any other way except a long time friend, except that he was cute. 

I broke up with the rebound guy and had to wait 6 months to find out if there was in fact anything between he and I. Of course I wondered if he saw me in any romantic way, he was always around, who does that if not for a reason? And there were occasional glances and such. 

6 months. I guess I could do that and then see what would happen.